I can’t believe I did that. What was I thinking?
The answer was staring me in the face. How could I be so stupid?
Why can’t I lose this weight? I know what I have to do, eat right and exercise. Why am I so lazy and undisciplined?
Sound familiar? Do you often engage in self-attack, beating yourself up for not doing it perfect – err, perfectly? Do you call yourself names in a vain attempt to whip yourself into shape?
I hate to be the one to break the news to you, but you’re human, just like the rest of us. We all make mistakes and we all have our struggles. It’s just part of life.
Self-attack is never a winning strategy. Self-shaming is self-defeating. It drains our confidence and leaves us feeling discouraged, often driving us to engage in the exact behaviors we are trying to avoid. When we beat ourselves up for eating that donut, we feel depressed. And all too often, we grab another donut to soothe ourselves.
Catch yourself the next time you consider calling yourself stupid or lazy. Try substituting self-compassion for those degrading self-attacks. Embrace your humanity, and remind yourself that we all struggle, and that life is about progress, not perfection.
Forgive yourself as you would a friend, and move forward with the resolve to do a little better next time.
Next time you struggle, can you try a little self-compassion?